from Mike Dowden

Having known Greg since we were in 6th grade, I have so many memories of

him. I've been meaning to share some for a while, but it's hard to know

where to start. Jenny's story about the poker tournament got me thinking

about some aspects of my friendship with Greg, and coming home for his

birthday this weekend, I think this is a good time for me to share those

thoughts.

One of the interests that connected Greg and I as friends for as long as I

knew him was our love for playing games. Looking, back it's remarkable how

much of our time together was spent with games and how many different types

of games we played...

There were athletic games:

- In I think 7th grade, I used to go over to his house almost every day

after school to play basketball with him and Matt Margarone (how strange is

that?)

- No one was more determined than Greg to organize the weekend football

games, and later the Frisbee games we played in, and he never seemed to get

tired of playing, no matter the weather.

There were board games:

- Staying up all night playing Axis and Allies in Brad's basement

- Risk tournaments where Greg helped us see the underappreciated strength of

the Ukraine

- Scrabble, Chess, Trivial Pursuit, and countless others.

There were card games:

- Poker of course was a recent obsession of Greg's, but I also remember

staying up all night at his Grandparents' house in Wisconsin playing poker

with him and Eric in our Sophomore year of high school.

- There was the period in junior high when we were obsessed with Magic: The

Gathering card game. Greg, Brad, Tim, and I spent our afternoons and

weekends (not to mention quite a bit of money) finely tuning our decks in

order to be able to destroy each other in nerdly battle.

- The solitaire game Greg would play that we just called Serbataire.

- One weekend when I visited U of I, we spent an entire Friday night

(probably at least six hours) just playing Euchre. What kind of college

student stays up all night to play Euchre?

There were video games:

- I can hardly even begin to name all the video games we played over at the

Vasich house going back to the original MarioKart on SNES. I do remember

that Greg was always in awe of the prodigy-like talent Chris has for all

things video game.

And there were the games that we just made up:

- During band at Lincoln with Mr. Groeling, we made up a game called floor

darts for passing the time in rehearsals (isn't it fitting punishment that I

now spend my days struggling to control my own middle school students?) To

play you would draw a circular dart board on a piece of paper and put it on

the floor. You then would hold a well sharpened pencil a full arms' length

away from your body and drop it. Tally the points and repeat until the paper

has too many holes, or Mr. Groeling sends you to sit in the hall.

- Trampoline dodge ball and bumper people are quintessential Greg games,

combining athletic skill and pure silliness. Add 7/11 slurpees and what more

could you need?

Reflecting on all these shared experiences a number of things strike me

about Greg's attitude toward games that reveal some of who he was as a

person. Greg was extremely competitive. No matter what the game was, he

always played to win, always giving his best. He would never go easy on you,

and he never gave up, even when winning seemed impossible (particularly

notable if you ever went to a Bears' game with Greg). However, he never

allowed this competitiveness to turn into malice towards an opponent. Like

when he avoided celebrating in front of the last guy he beat in the poker

tournament, Greg was never out to humiliate or spite anyone. You always knew

that any celebrating or taunting he did do (such as the safety dance) was in

the spirit of fun and joking, not serious. And although he would sometimes

be bitter with himself for losing, I don't think he ever held it against

someone else for winning. Moreover, both in games and in life, he was

everyone else's biggest fan, supporting us all in our various pursuits and

celebrating all our victories.

Greg's strong desire for competition could easily turn to obsession when he

found it. Reflecting on all the memories above, it's interesting how many

times I remember staying up with him well past the point of exhaustion just

to fit in "one more game." At the same time, even in these late night,

obsessive marathons, I think he was still aware that it was "just a game,"

not to be taken too seriously. In fact, during these sessions were some of

the few times when we were able to talk about "serious" things, what was

most important to us. From the late night poker games with Eric in Wisconsin

when we first talked about the possibility of Greg and Jenny getting

together, to the one on one games we played during our last winter break

together when we talked about the possibilities of life after college, we

always seemed to be able to connect the most when we were at our most

competitive.

The day of Greg's funeral when we all came over to the Vasichs' in the

afternoon, it meant a lot to me to spend time playing trampoline dodge ball

and bumper people with his friends and family. Even though Greg could no

longer be there, playing those games so familiar to us was comforting as a

reminder of his joyful, competitive spirit. For me, games will always be one

of the many small ways Greg will remain a presence in my life.

Lots of Love,

-Mike